Bubble Worth
by Yamato's Tiger Lily
Summary: Amethyst tries to talk to Jasper about being worthy but leaves her with a lot to think about. (Spoilers for the end of Season 5)


Bubble Worth

It had been weeks, probably months, since the three diamonds came and not only healed the corrupted gems but stabilized them. It took quite a bit of time for Steven and the other Crystal Gems to explain the situation to the newly formed gems about what happened and who Pink Diamond actually was. It was mostly tedious as some of the gems ran away in fear of the diamonds, understandably so, or just general fear about what to do now that the assault and possible invasion on Earth was over.

The tension was there but Steven managed to dull it down with his charming music and his charming self. As usual, the gems preferred to fight to his usual method of talking but, also, as usual, Steven won out in the end. It only seems that, in hindsight, that Steven certainly did inherit Rose, or rather Pink Diamond's, leadership skills.

But the small, purple gem realized there's one particular gem she hadn't had a chance to talk to - Jasper. While she is not completely healed, the moment she was stabilized and wouldn't poof back into her gem without the Diamonds' help, she left. Amethyst did try to calm her down and tried to get her to stay using the same tactics she grew to utilize on her own - but Jasper didn't want to talk. She just ran and Amethyst wanted to chase.

**.x.**

She knew where Jasper ran off too. She didn't have to rush there to talk to her because Jasper always had a one-track mind. And someone like her would always go to a place she considered home… aside from Homeworld of course.

When the Diamonds left, everyone who could face the three without shrinking waved them goodbye but, as expected, Amethyst didn't see Jasper with them. She knew her pride, especially after being so corrupted, especially after still being corrupted, someone like Jasper could never face Diamonds ever again. So, when Amethyst finally had the time, she took to the warp pad to go to the Beta Kindergarten. No one knew about this because she knew Steven would butt in a conversation that's only between her and her Sis, Jasper, and would make blanket statements about "be yourself", "be kind", and other such.

Not that it wasn't sound advice, but Steven already had too much on his plate. Amethyst wanted to stick to her word and take the initiative to talk to Jasper on her own. She tied up her long white hair in its usual bun ponytail and walked towards the Beta Kindergarten when she arrived at the warp pad. In its orange and brown glory, she looked around from all the holes made by the Famythst and other quartz. Out of her pocket, Amethyst pulled out a bottle of bubble water, something Steven recently introduced her in spite of all the craziness with wedding and the Diamonds. As she blew bubbles from its wand, she wondered which was the Jasper Famythists and Ameythst idly wondered if they were ever going back to the Human Zoo to not only bust out the humans - but the all of the Famythists as well…

"What are you doing here, runt?" Jasper suddenly yelled out. Amethyst never realized how open she actually was. Upon seeing her, Jasper already summoned her crash helmet but instead of what it used to look like, now it's a blend of her orange gem color and the green corrupted gem but the horns seemed to have 'transferred' to the helmet itself and it grew and it curled and it almost intimidated Amethyst that Jasper immediately wanted to fight.

"I wanted to check on you, but, uh," she said as she hovered her hand over the purple gem on her chest. Not missing a beat, her whip appeared and Amethyst pulled it out and lassoed it above her head. She slowly put down the bubble water and stuck the wand back in it and slid it away from them as far away as she could. "Looks like you don't want to talk."

But before Amethyst could finish and really process, she heard the thuds of Jasper's heavy feet against the desert ground which caused almost small holes in it. Amethyst managed to start her spin dash and get out of the way in time. She managed to 'bounce' on top of the charging Jasper and instead of aiming her whip against her, she aimed for the other rock around her to either pin her down or stop them.

However, the rocks barely missed Jasper, or even if they did, Jasper would use her helmet and, subsequently her horns, to get them out of her way or at least stop her. Amethyst tried to get as far away as she could.

"Hey! I'm not here for a rematch! I'm over that, you know!" Amethyst tried to yell at Jasper as she tried to dodge Jasper's own spin dash attack. The holes created by Jasper were bigger and Amethyst tried to use her whip to essentially levitate by whip but it ended up bringing more rocks down than she wanted.

But even after all this time in Steven's bubble, even after all this time trying to even get stabilized by the Diamonds and Ros-Pink Diamond's healing fountain, Jasper was still just as strong - maybe even stronger with her additional corrupted gems - as Amethyst remembered. She almost wished she didn't come on her own.

Her old insecurities tried to pop up again as she remembered the last time the two fought - when Amethyst was at her lowest when Steven was way too stubborn to leave her alone, and Jasper was there to beat the assurance in her how weak and utterly useless she is. She was still the short, fun and purple wild card of the Crystal Gems.

"I'm not going to let that happen again!" Amethyst yelled as she kept trying to ward off Jasper. "Never again!" She finally whipped at Jasper and made a strike on her face which pushed her almost backward if it wasn't for an empty Hole if it wasn't for the dark wall that stopped Jasper's trajectory, how long would've she fell? The crash wasn't as big as Amethyst expected but even with the dust, she could see Jasper slowly emerge from it, though somewhat weakened.

Even though the two had meant to preserve the Beta Kindergarten, in their own way, they continued to fight and cover up the Holes their sisters had emerged from - they fought for little reason - Jasper still wanted to beat 'the runt' and Amethyst knew full-well that she was destroying the Beta Kindergarten the Famythst had fond memories for. They were up in space in that Human Zoo where Greg and Steven had to escape from - not knowing if they were even going to get out of it.

She wanted to go back only to rescue them all - and she wanted to bring them back to show them the Beta Kindergarten and here they were, destroying it over nothing. Over a perfectionist ideal, they both have and they both could never achieve.

Whenever she saw Jasper again, she rushed in and used her whip, not to hit her, but to tie her up. She yelled and tightened as she summoned a secondary whip and wrapped her around that too. When Jasper tried to struggle out, it seemed that she was unable to, especially when the second whip kept her in place, she started to struggle. But even though Jasper clearly still had plenty of anger, there two big differences. One was the fact her helmet was gone - her green horns were now back to its original smaller size and secondly, surprised even Amethyst.

Jasper had tears coming out of her eyes.

"You don't understand! You rebels don't have a sense of honor. You don't have any standards for yourself! You don't know what it's like!"

"Of course I do!" Amethyst said back to her. She saw her bubble water fell over and nearly covered in rocks. She kept a tight hold on the whip as she tried to turn it right side up. There was only enough for a few more bubbles and Amethyst turned away to focus on Jasper. "You call me 'Runt'! You call me all these things! The Crystal Gems for the longest time just thought of me of a common house pet! How do you think I feel about that?"

"Hah! Of course, they do!" Jasper smirked through her tears. "Only fools would keep a cute runt around the house - to make themselves feel better about themselves."

Amethyst just tightened the whip that literally knocked the wind out of her - if Gems had any wind to knock out of. "Hey! No! You don't get to say that!"

"You don't understand… The Crystal Gems s-shattered my Diamond! They shattered Pink Diamond! I was to defend her but everyone else around here," she looked around at whatever Holes remained in her current sight, "they came out _defective_! They looked like _you_ and they still took them! They still took them! I was the only one who came out perfect and they depended on me! They depended on me!"

She became hysterical and eventually stopped struggling. In good faith, perhaps a fool's mistake, Amethyst decided to let her go of her whips. When loose, she did half expected Jasper to attack her again - after all, Jasper was the perfect soldier - but she didn't. Jasper curled up into a ball and hysterically cried as she screamed the same phrase, "They depended on me!" over and over.

Amethyst just watched her. She wanted to comfort the crying gem, her precious sister, before her but she knew Jasper wouldn't just allow that right away. She knew that-that cry. She knew those feelings even if it was the opposite feeling - Amethyst wanted to be depended on.

Finally, Amethyst said, "But you lost."

The cries only got louder at these spoken words. "But I lost! _I lost_!" Her new phrase took over and Amethyst continued to stand there. She absolutely knew that feeling. For all those times she regenerated too quick, for all of her impulses, the accusatory looks she got from Garnet and especially Pearl were enough to make her want to hide do something really stupid to them - and maybe herself. But even Amethyst knew when it's not about her - even though they suffered on the opposite spectrum of self-worth. She empathized with Jasper, she really did.

"But that doesn't mean you can't start again. Plus… Jasper… there's something about Pink Diamond you really need to know." Jasper continued to cry but Amethyst only sighed. Not out of annoyance, and maybe she shouldn't have sighed as loudly as she did which made Jasper flinch.

"Don't you dare say that Pink Diamond deserved to be shattered! I know I've done monstrous things, even your fellow Crystal Gems did monstrous things, but that doesn't mean they deserve to be shattered!" She nearly crawled with amazing speed that Amethyst nearly jumped away, in fear that Jasper would attack again but it seemed that an emotional dam had burst within the giant, seemingly perfect Gem unleashed tears both quartzes never thought possible.

Once Amethyst realized that she wasn't going to attack anymore, the purple Gem got closer to Jasper and after looking down at her for a minute, she sat down and tried to touch Jasper. She hesitated and Jasper recoiled but Amethyst reached over and touched her unkempt, wild white hair and Jasper continued to cry.

"No. You're right. No one deserves to be shattered. But… that's not what I wanted to tell you about her."

"Then what?!"

Amethyst inhaled then exhaled as she tried to choose her words carefully.

"Pink Diamond… pretended to be Rose Quartz…" she started to explain the history about how Pink Diamond originally used the Earth as a colony only to 'shatter' and disguise herself as Rose Quartz for the rest of her days. After the rebellion, she settled on Earth and fell in love with the male human, Greg, and gave her life to create Steven. So the jewel Steven have isn't a mere Rose Quartz - but a Pink Diamond instead.

That didn't mean that Steven was Pink Diamond herself, but her _child_ which Jasper didn't seem to quite grasp but it slowly seeped into her that essentially, her Pink Diamond manipulated a war between her Diamond Sisters, Homeworld, and herself with the Crystal Gems because she thought some flowers were nice. The more it seeped in, though, angrier and the more distraught Jasper became.

"But… why did she lie? Why did the Diamonds help this puny Earth?" But Amethyst couldn't answer her.

The only thing Amethyst could say was, "I don't know." And understandably, Jasper cried even more and Amethyst could see her corruption start all over again. She stood up and grabbed Jasper by the arms.

"No! Not again! We're not going to lose you! Steven went through too much to get you back! Jasper… Sis! Sis, stay with me! Please! I can't lose you! I don't understand it either! I don't understand why the Diamonds were instantly forgiven! They hurt so much of us! They took our sisters and called them 'defects'! 'Defects'!" She had to yell that word in to push deep into Jasper's consciousness.

"They used you, Jasper! They used your perfection to destroy - to be a monster, while they look down on the other Jaspers and gave them minimal duties! How can Steven forgive them? How can anyone forgive them!" It was Amethyst's turn to cry. Jasper was almost on the verge of corruption when Amethyst finally said. "They used you and never came back for you. In fact… they didn't even ask about you… No one did, but we did… I did! You're my Sis!"

"What Rose did was unforgivable… She lied to so many Gems and forced Pearl to lie for her, and even after she's gone…" Amethyst sobbed. "She continued to lie to me."

"Then… why are we here?" By now they both were crying in each other's arms. Somehow, Amethyst was able to prevent Jasper's corruption and she held on to her tightly. She wouldn't lose another Sister. She wouldn't lose anyone anymore. She nearly lost the Crystal Gems and she nearly lost herself to White Diamond's power and she didn't want that ever again. And she didn't want that for Jasper - not after being healed from her corruption.

"I don't know," Amethyst said. "I don't know what's going on anymore. I don't know what's going to happen after all of this."

"But you're just a runt…" Jasper tried to control her crying. "How could you have survived all of that?"

"Because… because I'm strong. I'm strong and even though I'm a 'runt', I'm able to fight just as hard. I'm extremely smart and creative and I have my own grace. I'm… nothing without me. And even though I'm short, I'm resourceful and I'm clever."

She could tell Jasper was getting angry - how could she be angry still - and finally she shoved away Amethyst's hands away. She immediately got up and Amethyst took a few steps back and readied her whips again. She didn't want to fight but if she had to…

"L-look, Jasper, you don't always have to take people complimenting themselves as an insult! It's not always about you, you know!"

"I know that. Do you think I care about what you think about yourself? In fact," her tears still didn't stop even after all of this, "I don't understand how anyone from this Kindergarten could be proud of themselves. This is a rejected Kindergarten, right? Only one Gem came out perfect - and that's me! I don't care about _your _Kindergarten. I _know_ you came out overcooked. You know that. So what do I care?" She took a giant step forward and Amethyst got in her fighting stance. She got so worried that she then shape-shifted to her Wrestling Persona. Jasper merely watched her transform and stood her ground. The wind blew through their hairs and it wasn't cool at all but it didn't stop Amethyst. In fact, it made her stronger.

"Because our Sissies are up there," Amethyst pointed up to a random point in the sunny sky, "wanting to come back to Earth, back to this Beta Kindergarten and _be together and be a __**family**_ once again! Don't you want that, Jasper? Don't you want our Sissies to come back? You don't understand!" She didn't hold her form for too much longer. She reverted back to her default size and shape but she still held her whip. "Seeing them and being with them… really opened my eyes. They were considered 'defective' by Homeworld but they were happy with that because they had each other. They didn't belong on Homeworld but they belonged together.

"Do you know what it's like to be singled out? Do you know what it's like to be the only on Earth who looks like me? The other Crystal Gems look at Homeworld with such disdain and I understand that and I get that but what I _don't_ understand is why they're so happy being by themselves!

"Being perfect to me meant that I'd finally be part of the Crystal Gems! It meant that I'm _worth_ something! But seeing them and even though I'm shorter than Carnelian, they still accepted me… and that made me realize that the Crystal Gems have always accepted me for who I am."

Jasper acted like she couldn't be bothered to really listen but she still stood silent and seemed to process what Amethyst was saying. Even if she didn't quite understand what's going on, Jasper's gears were turning. This much wasn't as obvious to Amethyst as she continued on.

"They still love and care about me. Maybe they should've said better but… now I understand. And because of that, they helped me get out of my own tunnel of insecurity. And now Jasper, I want to help you get out of yours. I would be lying to you if I said it was easy, it's not. There are days where I feel I took a few steps backwards. But… I'm reminded that progress isn't linear. It's okay to make mistakes! I know I made a few… and well, we know that you've made mistakes too, Jasper."

For a glimmer, Jasper got angry and it really seeped in. Once it seeped in, Amethyst saw an expression that Jasper never seemed to show anyone before but it disappeared as it appeared. Amethyst continued with another inhale and exhaled as she put away her whip.

"Look, you need to dig deep because, honestly, Jasper, you hurt a lot of people." She adjusted her hair. "I was only here to talk to you - to check up on you. I want to help you but I know you don't want this 'runt's' help… all I could do is just explain this to you. And if you really want to change, it has to start with you.

"Steven is the type to go, 'Oh Jasper, let me heal you with my spit! Let me heal you with my words!' but it has to start with you. Steven…" she sighed exasperatedly. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she became angry, or rather annoyed. "Look, my point is I wanted to check in on you since you've been healed. I stupidly thought that maybe you wanted to talk and _maybe_ start the healing process because I **know** it's not that easy!"

"Then go."

Amethyst's expression was angry by this point.

"Fine! Waste away! Become corrupted again! Wallow in your self-pity! I never should've came here!"

"I never asked for a runt's help in the first place."

Amethyst ran up, jumped, and slapped her in the face. It wasn't as strong as it would've been in a fight and even if it did hurt, Jasper wasn't too keen on showing her pain.

"Then stay here! Rot!"

And then Amethyst stomped away while muttering - and it's clear that even Amethyst was hurt. However, Jasper watched her go, wordlessly.

**.x.**

Hours went by and Jasper was now sitting in the spot Amethyst left her in. In her mind, she reflected everything Amethyst said, up and including the point where Amethyst told her to rot. Her tears long since stopped but the moment she felt them come up, they started to flow easily once more.

How can someone like Amethyst find solidarity with the more defective quartzes? What's a Human Zoo? But was she even right? Was this war justified? What was it about Earth rejects like Amethyst and the other Crystal Gems loved so much?

She looked around the remnants of the Kindergarten and even after the small fight that she and Amethyst had, it still stayed the same. The desert noises of strange animals didn't frighten Jasper - she was perfect… but if she was so perfect, then why was she set to fuse with Lapis Lazuli? But at the same time, Lapis also hurt her as Malachite - the power that Jasper never thought possible but it was a position that they both hurt each other.

Did it feel good as Lapis said it did? Perhaps at the time but because of her choices, because of the tunnel she dug herself in because Jasper was not willing to become a dreaded Crystal Gem… it was due to the expectations she knew she set up for themselves. Any mistake she made, it was under the threat of being shattered by the Diamonds - but Jasper had always been loyal to Pink Diamond.

Had Jasper even met Pink Diamond? Her memories didn't come up with anything - but it was her purpose. Her purpose to be loyal to someone she never met. And after the purple runt told her the truth about Pink Diamond, it scrambled everything Jasper already knew. She didn't want to retread old ground but it's hard to swallow what she just said.

She led the rebellion because she started to value the life here on Earth?

Did that include the Quartz Soldiers? Did that include her?

Did that include the overcooked Amethyst?

But it must be true. The Crystal Gems seemed to pride themselves to protect the Earth and those who live in it - did that include Jasper?

Back on Homeworld, Jasper was only praised when she did what was she was expected and most of the time, it was forced. She was expected to pull in results anything less than that got the immediate threat of shattering. Almost… almost… what she did.

And she couldn't even get mad. She thought she was going to be angry at Amethyst for her comments but a lot of it rang true. She was the standout. She was the Golden Gem among her own Kindergarten. She had overheard how other Gems, more important Gems, higher ranking Gems, talk about how failed the experiment was and how Jasper truly shines her perfection.

Though after her corruption, now that she finally stabilized herself again, maybe she would be instantly shattered by them. She couldn't face the Diamonds after the stabilization and after healing. Their ships were so big that it's hard to miss them floating back up in the sky which is where Jasper looked up now but it didn't stop her fear of them changing their minds again. Would they come back and shatter her too after they would shatter everyone else?

And she gasped. She gasped at how beautiful the desert stars shone brightly above the failed Kindergarten. If Jasper was cold now that the dry, cold wind brushed against her and pushed her in a random direction, she didn't show it. She glanced up and was taken aback by the beauty of the stars.

Were those perfect when they first formed? Were they imperfect and that's why they could shine brighter?

But someone like her couldn't redeem herself, could she? She had done too many things to hurt herself, and more especially, others. Would they accept her back? Probably not.

No, she probably didn't deserve it but the sight of the possibly imperfect stars grabbed her imagination. She hadn't really noticed the stars on Homeworld as there was hardly a night there with the cities' lights and other Gems shining so brightly. She always thought of herself as one of those Gems and would shine brightly with them. And yet there are billions, possibly trillions, of stars in this Earthly sky but they never outshined each other.

The sun was the brightest star of them all but she rests to let the others.

Is this what it means to belong somewhere? All these stars couldn't shine brightly without the other and they were happy.

Her orders had always been so straight-forward and she never took the time in the flights to and from Homeworld to truly notice how beautiful and vast and amazing all these imperfect stars shine together.

And before she could think further, Jasper suddenly heard a bubble pop.


End file.
